"I could not bring My passions from a common spring," -Edgar Allan Poe

Most days for me, at best, are even keel, with the rare good day. Today was the rare good day, for sure. (warning: Long post lol)

My ESL class was a lot of fun. They had some questions last class about holidays and seasons, and I decided to bring in The Nightmare Before Christmas​ for the class to watch, since it covers 2 holidays. We didn't finish it today, but it was neat listening to the ladies in my class discuss it (the convo was in Burmese, so I couldn't understand word for word, but listening to their inflection and whatnot, you can tell a lot), and repeat words they thought were important, to try and memorize them.

After was the first Language Service Network meeting, and I have to admit, I was pleasantly surprised to be there. It was a Who's Who of local services, non profits, and school systems...then me. No, I'm not downing myself, but I will say I almost felt like I was out of my league being there. But, it was a great meeting, and gave me a chance to talk to people, pick some brains (so to speak) and get involved. It was exciting, humbling, and interesting, all in the same go.

Between this, going back to subbing, and getting ready to pick up working with another organization helping teach literacy to adults, I have to say, I've been happier the last few weeks than I was for the last six months. Funny how something that seems bad in the moment, ends up being the boot in the ass you need to move on to something better, and something you really want. I've learned you don't always have to shoe horn yourself in to what people tell you to be. Doesn't make it bad, but rather than following "The Plan" (a phrase I got from a dear friend's mother​), follow YOUR Plan. We all work differently, and that's ok. The last few months have taught me a lot, and the last several weeks have put it into perspective.

I still struggle, daily, with finding self worth, and at the very least not letting depression get the best of me. It's hard. Most days I feel like I don't offer or provide enough. But, days like today feel like a pay off, and that maybe it's all worth it. I may not have a ton of money, or anything fancy to show for it, but I'm seeing more and more I don't need those things, either. Unfortunately, you need a little something to pay the bills, and support yourself, but beyond that, I guess I don't care. Other than maybe getting to travel once in a while.

I just want to be happy, feel like I'm leading a fulfilling life, and that I'm doing something positive for the world around me. I'm not motivated by a lot of the same things others are. More this and more that won't motivate me. But tell me I can have the kind of life I want, and tell me I can have a direct impact and help out, and you have my attention. I don't care if I make a ton of money. I care if I make a difference.